i'm actually trying my best

I might come off like I'm not trying at all because of my dumb posts, but that's not the case.

I went to four therapists before meeting my current one, and I finally feel comfortable talking to them. Plus, I'm seeing another therapist for trauma therapy. Well, that's not exactly new. I tried EMDR before, but it didn't work at all. I also took antidepressants for a year, but I stopped because they didn't change anything. I'm doing my job properly and trying to ensure financial stability. I also take breaks for my mental health. I go outside, and I even travel pretty far to see new things. I eat fruits, meat, and vegetables. I avoid sugar. I get blood tests to make sure my levels are normal. I'm trying to maintain meaningful relationships. I'm also trying to learn new things, like other languages and creative skills. I'm also challenging myself with new and unfamiliar things.

Honestly, this stuff is pretty effective. But here I am... still like this. Why am I still like this? Am I just incompetent? Am I beyond help?