no more self harm

When I get overwhelmed or completely hopeless, I have a tendency to hurt myself. I tell myself that it's better than attempting suicide as an excuse, but that's just an excuse. The truth is, if I really tried, I could stop self-harm for a while.

That's my challenge right now. I've run out of things to treat my injuries with, so I'm going to use that as a deterrent to self-harm. You might be wondering what I need. To summarize what I need:

I need adhesive tape, elastic bandages, gauze, and wound spray. After I hurt myself, I apply gauze soaked with the spray. Then, I secure the bandage to my skin with adhesive tape and wrap it tightly around the gauze. I cut the bandage and secure it further with more adhesive tape. This requires a lot of resources, so I run out quickly.

This time, I don't plan to buy more right away. Not having the necessary medical supplies is enough of a deterrent to stop me from hurting myself. I'm going to see how long I can hold out. Right now, it's super difficult. Honestly, I might just be motivating myself to die by disguising it as a healing challenge.