remembering youth

I don't really remember much before I turned 16. That's when I started being aware of things, I guess. Ended up trying to kill myself just a year later. Before that, it's all just bad memories. Getting beat up by teachers and students at school, my mom getting beat up by my dad, being sexually abused, being betrayed by friends, being made a scapegoat by teachers to make the class laugh, always feeling tense at home, my cat dying, hiding from my dad, watching my mom run away from home, being told to die by my dad, just so much stuff that felt like it would never end.

Why? Why don't I have any good memories? Have I forgotten?