bright and quiet

I can't talk to anyone...

I feel nauseous. My stomach is upset for some unknown reason. I really hate this feeling. Whenever this happens, a hopeless, meaningless, hellish sensation appears in my head. I wonder if this is physiological? Also, I constantly feel like I have acid reflux. The last one is new. I'm used to the others, but they always all come together.

Oh, and I always get an overwhelming urge to either commit suicide or self-harm. For the past few years, I've mostly chosen the latter. When the first impulse comes, everything becomes very bright and quiet. I don't know what that means. What's going on?